The Devil Inside Read online

  I checked my reflection in the water. Gone was my Hollywood smile, my skintight threads, and cocky gleam in my eye. My hair was disheveled, and I saw not a god, but a simple man, afraid and alone. Simple, like the Simons. A small wave breached my reflection and warped my mirror image into something unrecognizable.

  I held up my collection of tiny glass baubles then glanced up at the wavering green sky. The Aurora’s beauty held more than an aesthetic delight for me. The recent solar storm had injected enough plasma into the atmosphere and the charged atoms were ready to boost me forward—home.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Cash

  THE TOWN CAR pulled into the driveway of my family’s old plantation home. It was heritage listed and situated on fifty acres of sprawling meadows with peach and magnolia trees. Since we’d dropped James off at the clinic and called the orphanage, Roo had given me the cold shoulder. She was retreating into herself. That was fine. I didn’t need her to like me to keep her safe.

  I paid the driver while Roo stood staring up at the majestic white oak doors, painted pink in the sunset. The door opened and out ran a small boy with golden ringlets, wearing a Transformer costume.

  “Tommy!” the boy cried as he zoomed passed Roo and bowled into me with an oomph!

  “No, buddy. It’s Cash.” I bent down and pulled the boy in for a hug.

  “You wanna play with me? I got another costume inside, let’s go!”

  I grinned, kids were resilient as ever.

  “I need to go and say hi to ma, is she inside? Roo here might play with you.”

  I enjoyed the sight of Roo flashing her heart stopping smile at the kid. Pity it wasn’t aimed at me.

  “Hey, I’m Roo. What’s your name?”

  The boy cowered behind my legs.

  “It’s okay Augustus, she won’t bite.”

  Augustus squinted at her like a pirate. “She won’t, but the others might.”

  I caught the stammer in Roo’s pulse as she reacted to the boy’s words. Strange. As though she was nervous about his words.

  “I can promise you, Augustus, nobody here will bite you,” Roo said.

  Augustus smiled and stepped out. “I turned five. I have new shoes. Do you want to see?”

  “Sugar! You’re finally here.” My mother appeared at the door frame and upon seeing her new arrivals, rushed out the door. With tears in her eyes, she made a bee-line for me and pulled my body into a crushing embrace, then hastily apologized for the flour she’d dusted over me from her apron. I thought for a moment she’d gone gray, but realized it was the flour in her blonde hair giving her a weathered look.

  “Oh Cash, it’s been too long. Too long. I’m so glad you’re home.”

  “I’m sorry we missed the funeral, ma.”

  “Sugar, I understand,” she said in a knowing voice. She tightened her embrace, and it brought tears to my eyes. This woman, this earthly mother had showed no bounds in the depths of her understanding. My heart swelled, and for the second time in my life, I thought this must be what love felt like. I’d been a fool to avoid it.

  I pulled away and looked at Roo. My mother lifted her wire rimmed glasses and wiped her eyes then turned to her, too.

  “Oh my stars, this fine young lady must be Miss. Urser. Well, if I live and breathe. I never guessed how pretty you were when we spoke on the phone. The video call didn’t do you justice. You might not recognize me, all covered in flour, but I’m Betsy. Well, don’t just stand there, sugar, come on in and give me a hug, and then let’s get out of this cold.” Roo blushed, and they embraced.

  While she probably thought I couldn’t hear, my mother said, “Tommy’s told me so much about you and I’m so blessed for you looking out for my sons.”

  “But…” Roo said, her voice trailing off. My own throat tightened. I knew what she was thinking. Tommy. She hadn’t looked after him at all, but, she had. I rubbed the pain in my chest away. She’d made me whole.

  “Don’t start,” my mother warned Roo. “I know as much as anyone that the good Lord has taken the control of some things out of our hands. All we can do is our best with what we’ve got.”

  I knew they’d spoken a few times over the phone, but I was unprepared for how familiar they both were around each other. They traded news about nothing for a second before my mother shooed her youngest.

  “Augustus go and tell your father that Cash is here.”

  Augustus grabbed Roo’s hand and spirited her away.

  Betsy turned and slapped me on the cheek. Hard. Her face wilted as the resounding crack echoed in the air. “That’s for Tommy.”

  There was nobody in the world who could make me cower, except this woman. She was a little on the plump side, had clothes covered in flour, yet she could cut me down with one look. I bit my lip at the reprimand and avoided eye contact. I deserved it. She tilted my chin, so I looked down into her tearful eyes.

  “Now, not another word about it or else I’ll fall apart. I know it wasn’t your fault, but goddamn it, son, I’m still devastated.”

  “I know, ma, I’m—”

  “I said not another word. Let’s remember Tommy fondly. It’s all I can do to keep it together. I made his favorite stew. Let’s go.”

  Braised Lamb. Delicious.

  She slipped her arm through mine and pulled me towards the house, and stage whispered. “You didn’t tell me how gorgeous she was. It’s about time you brought a girl home, honey. It’s just a pity it had to take dire circumstances for you to do it.”

  “It’s not like that, ma. We’re just friends.” Hopefully. Maybe. I didn’t know anymore.

  “Don’t be silly. I may be going blind but I can still see the way you look at her when you think she’s not watching, and she you. Well c’mon, we’d better get going or else this braised lamb will up itself and walk out the kitchen.”

  I smiled tightly and followed her into the enormous Bed and Breakfast converted home. I thought I would feel less attached to my birth family with all the past lives crammed into my mind, but I felt the same. That warmth spreading from my chest was surely affection.

  “Now, I vacated the premises for the weekend, so you can both stay in the guest room upstairs, and—oh, Ray, look who’s here!”

  I shook my stepfather’s soft hand and couldn’t help drawing the comparison between my biological father. Where Ray was round and gentle, my father had been tall and solid. Weathered from hard work.

  “Howdy Cash, didn’t think you’d be back.” The insinuation was there. My mother may have forgiven me for missing the funeral, but Ray hadn’t. I didn’t blame him.

  “We had a boat load of people through after the funeral. I’d appreciate a hand to move some downstairs furniture around,” Betsy added to me.

  I spent the evening helping Ray shift the furniture in the downstairs living room while Roo spent time with my mother, setting the rest of the house in order.

  While I worked, I couldn’t help thinking about Roo’s indifference towards me. It was more uncomfortable than anger. At least if she’d yelled or screamed, I would know she felt something. At this rate, I worried she was just going through the motions until we left the next evening for Australia. Back to the Sydney Ludus, her father, and the trials.

  After dinner, I stood in the hallway outside Roo’s room. I took a deep breath and held it. I didn’t know what sort of reception I’d find inside. Her countenance towards me over the meal had been frosty to say the least. She’d responded
to my questions with short, polite answers but otherwise engaged in joyful chit-chat with my mother. The contrast was obvious. My mother had given me a curious sideways glance more than once.

  But I’d taken it in my stride. I hadn’t been deterred. Even when Augustus announced he was ready for bed and Ray jumped at the chance to read a bed time story, leaving only the three of us sitting awkwardly at the table. When the two women got up to clear the mess, I helped. When they started stacking the dishwasher, I helped too. And after everything was spick-and-span, we retired to the sitting room with a pot of tea. My mother had raised her eyebrows at me as she and Roo sat opposite each other on the two-seater settee. I took the hint. Three’s a crowd. I retired to my room to shower and dress for bed.

  I found our luggage sitting on my king-sized bed. Ray had obviously assumed we’d be staying together.

  Roo wouldn’t like that.

  I swiftly checked the room opposite mine and found it empty. A large, four-poster antique bed sat in the middle, opposite a flat screen television. A matching antique desk and settee sat in front of a window that overlooked the moonlit peach orchard. I put Roo’s bag on the bed and flicked on the lights, dimming them until a nice ambience was felt. Then I turned the heating on.

  That was thirty minutes ago. I was now washed and dressed in casual sweat pants and a T-shirt, standing alone in the hallway between our rooms. My bare feet flexed on the plush carpet and I could hear the sound of the television, so she was definitely awake.

  My pulse skipped a beat at the sound of her feet hitting the floor and walking toward the door. She knew I was here. Quickly, I raised my hand to knock.

  A click on the other side meant she had previously locked the door and now unlocked it. The sound of her steps grew fainter as she went back to the bed. What did that mean? I tested the door knob, half expecting it to be locked. The door opened, and I let myself in.

  Roo reclined on the bed, half under the covers with the flickering light from the TV illuminating her face. She wore a long-sleeved T-shirt, or something like that on her top half.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “Hi yourself.”

  “Okay, listen, can I come in?”

  She shrugged.

  “What are you watching?”

  “You wouldn’t like it.”

  “I might.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  I stepped into the room and closed the door behind me for privacy. I felt ungraceful and as though I didn’t belong, yet I didn’t want to leave and I didn’t know what to do with my hands. They wanted to reach out and touch her, but I held back. Instead, I stood next to her bed. My heart beat loudly over the sound of the TV. Hers was soft and steady. She folded her arms. Awkward. That must be what this emotion was.

  Finally, after a long sigh I said, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for earlier.” Her snort was my only response. “And I want you to know I’m not going to leave.”

  Air rushed out of her nostrils so fast they flared. She shook her head. “I don’t know how you expect me to trust you.”

  “Can I sit?”

  She answered by shifting to one side of the bed without taking her eyes off the screen.

  “Honestly, I don’t deserve your trust, but I’m not going to leave.” I sat down on the edge of the bed. When Roo’s folded arms tightened until she hugged herself and leaned away, my heart broke. I did that. My lies had put a wall between us where only a day ago, there had been none. But fuck it. I would tear that wall down if it was the last thing I did.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Not until… until—”

  “Until what, you die?”

  “Yes.”

  The flickering light highlighted her newly glistening eyes, her pulse quickened.

  “I can’t even…” she sighed. “I can’t talk to you right now, I’m sorry. I need to think. Can you please go?”

  I swallowed heavily and stood.

  “I’ll go to the other room. But I’m not leaving you.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I get it.”

  Her coldness turned the blood in my veins to ice.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Cash

  I SANK INTO a heavy, fitful sleep that night. I dreamed often. Some was of a past earthly life, some were snatches of time before I came to the planet. But one dream, the one that kept repeating, was of the night I split my soul.

  It was just after Marc had taken the Queen back to the Empire, and I had been using the flaming swords Marc spoke about. Maybe I imagined them, but maybe not. They were a scorching extension of each hand and I used them to cut down anybody that smelled necrotic.

  They say you don’t dream in sound, or smell, but I did. I always did. I heard their screams rip through time as clearly as if it happened right now. I smelled the rotting flesh as though it were next to me in the room. I remembered plowing through a field of bodies, unleashing my inner rage like a wave of destruction at anything moving in my way. I hated the killing. I resented it. If she had taken my word at the beginning, I would never have been in that position.

  Somewhere behind me was the Prince, creating more dark creatures to replace the ones I cut down. When he ran out of humans, he turned to the soldiers. My friends. My comrades. The pioneer Seraphim left on the planet had come out of their simple houses, stumbling, shocked at what was happening. I would roar at them. Hurry, stop them. Help. But half the Seraphim weren’t warriors, they were alchemists, cartographers, anthropologists. They didn’t know what to do when their trusted soldiers turned on them in a black gritty terror. It was different with infected Seraphim, they weren’t so beastly, but dangerous all the more. Harder to kill.

  Self preservation kicked in, and many of them went into hiding, many ran for the star-gate.

  And the strange part of it was, through the chaos, I could see the emissaries from other quadrants of the Empire watching with a smirk on their faces from a safe distance, almost as if they were unafraid, as if they knew. They wanted the peace experiment to fail because if it failed, the Queen was not fit to rule and she could be challenged. There were those that wanted the prime piece of real estate called Earth for themselves.

  This was a coup.

  A few Seraphim gathered their belongings and scurried toward the dock where the enormous star-gate would take them home. Cowards.

  A creature caught up to me, gnashing its black teeth, latching onto my leg through my uniform. I kicked it off. Pain seared up my body. I swept out my right arm, sword igniting a trail to cut through its demented body. The stench of flesh and hair rose into the air, tainting it thick with disease. The twisted human dropped soullessly to the ground, a steaming pile of forgotten atoms. My sword hummed and crackled in victory. Another animal thudded towards me, with heaving breaths, loud and wet. I manifested a twin sword in my other hand and spun my body, using the momentum to swing both swords in unison, slicing through the body and the head, splitting it into gruesome pieces. I knew the onslaught would keep coming until either I was dead, the Prince was dead, or there were no beings left to turn. And I was tiring. Sometimes, as I laid waste to the mindless animals around me, I would see a flicker of life in their black eyes. A sparkle of sentience. And I would hesitate, a flash of doubt crashing through my mind. My power would flicker like a disturbed current lighting a globe.

  Why was I doing this? For Her?

  For the Empire?

  For the goodness of all Seraphim and human kind?

  A feeling of sickness rose from the pit of my stomach.

  I was tired.

  My arms drooped to the floor, muscles aching, swords dimming.

  In the distance, through the mud caused by the black bloody rain that had sprayed from the cut down creatures, the Prince
stalked towards me, a feral smile on his face.

  Cold realization stole over me. I could end it all in one fell swoop if I ended the Prince. Ended him completely and entirely so he could never return to taint the world anew. There weren’t many creatures left, only a few recent creations, and the Prince tired, too. The last reserves of my heated power built inside me, swelling at the idea in approval. It was ready. I was ready.

  But if I died, there was no one left to protect the star-gate. The way home was compromised. With the last of the creatures scuttling behind their master, I knew I could take them if I attacked now. Or I could deal with the gate and then take my chances.

  My inner power surged and the fiery sword in both hands flared. I whirled and cut down the last remaining bodies in my way, then ran for the gate.

  It was a large stone like square that had a frame extending to a distant point, like the bottom of a hollowed out fallen pyramid. The entry was from the bottom, the square.

  Two technicians dialed while a small group of Seraphim stood by, frantically checking their luggage, ready to evacuate.

  When I arrived, I said nothing. I shut down the dial-up sequence. When the technicians protested, I cut their innocent heads off and let them drop and roll. When other Seraphim opened their mouths to call for help, I navigated the computer’s mainframe to remove all approved biological users, all except one: The Queen.

  By her blood only could she open the door to their world. And I safely had her removed from this plane.

  I placed my palms on the dashboard and released my fire. The smell of smoking wires and chemicals scorched my nose. Nobody would open that gate any time soon.

  “What have you done?” Alkeimon growled from behind me.