Playing God (Game of Gods Book 3) Read online

  Squid glared his dark eyes at me. “Yes.”

  “You bastard,” I snapped. “You kept me a prisoner.”

  Cash opened his mouth to speak but Jacine cut him off with a warning look.

  “Later. We’ve disturbed the training as it is.” She waved her hand at Cash and then glanced at me. “What happens behind the closed doors of your house is of no concern to me, but when you bring your grievances into the public arena of the Ludus that is the problem.” Without waiting for my response, she moved to the man next to her. “Felix, if you would be so kind as to escort Ms. Urser to the holding cell. Octavia if you could interview the victim. And hunter, come with me.” She turned to the watching crowd, including the smug Ava. “As for the rest of you, carry on with your training. The trials begin in a few short days. You can’t afford to waste any time.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  WHAT POSSIBLE REASON could Squid have to send me to confinement?

  The question grated on my nerves the entire walk from the arena to an official looking room on the level closest to the surface. The only logical answer was they wanted me to fail. Passing had never been an option. Realizing that angered me so much my fingers heated and sporadically slipped electricity until sparks left holes in my jeans. I flexed and pumped my fists to shake it off, but had trouble controlling my abilities. This happened when I felt helpless, and now I felt helpless to stop it.

  The more time I spent at the Ludus, the more I felt I flailed in the ocean without a life vest. I needed more information. I needed someone who knew the rules about the Game better than anyone. I needed Marc.

  Before making it to the holding room, I had to walk through an open-planned office area that reminded me of the police station back home. Official looking people with hard faces went about their work at a series of overstuffed desks. I was taken back to the moment I was arrested and then bagged and tagged as a witch. If it hadn’t been for Cash bailing me out, I’d have been executed or burned at the stake. For a fleeting moment, I felt as though I’d traveled so far, but somehow never left home. The same problems kept popping up in my life. First, I was the town pariah because they thought I was a witch. Now I’m was the reject because they think I’m the worst the Seraphim have to offer—a Soul-Eater.

  Never one to miss an opportunity when I felt my lowest, The Others said, She accused you in front of everyone. You’re not to be trusted.

  Perhaps Ava was right. My powers were unpredictable. I couldn’t even stop my fingers from sparking.

  Eat her soul and show her what power means.

  And I couldn’t keep my thoughts in check. What hope did I have?

  They placed me inside a cold, windowless holding cell. History repeating. It had a lumpy bed, a sink and a toilet. In a few seconds, I managed to think of at least three outcomes for myself. I could escape—easy, but they’d find me. Being the Gamekeeper, Marc only needed to think of me and he’d turn up in my personal space—then there were the nano things they injected into me. They were supposed to track our whereabouts but that wrongness I’d felt at the start wasn’t there anymore. I wondered if I’d purged them from my body like any other foreign object. The registrar’s attendant had said the signal was warped. Perhaps they’d never taken to my body in the first place, or perhaps I just couldn’t feel them anymore. The second option involved me manipulating my captor’s minds with an airborne hex like a virus, or maybe I could disguise myself… no. There was no escape. Everyone saw me attack Squid, there would be consequences.

  I laid back on the cot, noticing the grumble in my tummy for the first time. I had no time for breakfast when Lincoln had woken me up.

  Just a couple more days, and I’ll be through this in one way or another. I’ll either fail, become a breeder, die, or pass the trials. Life at The Cauldron with Kitty, Alvin and Joe, sounded like a distant dream.

  I rolled to my side. Something lumpy in my jeans pocket felt uncomfortable. My fingers closed around the smooth metal surface of the Ducati keyring and my heart squeezed. Escape. Maybe Cash had known it would come to that.

  An hour later, the door opened.

  I guessed it had been an hour because I’d counted all the corners in the room to the beat of a song that lasted three minutes. And I’d done that twenty times.

  Jacine walked in with Cash trailing behind. Seeing him, I hastily sat up and straightened my hair. My spirits lifted knowing he’d been true to his word. He came back for me.

  “Well then, dove,” Jacine said. “It’s your lucky day. After discussing your situation with your mentor, we’ve come to an agreement. Seeing as the Player was not permanently harmed, I think this can all be chalked up to a misunderstanding with a training exercise.”

  “Okay,” I said, wary, but I got up. I didn’t want to look a gift-horse in the mouth. I wanted lunch.

  Jacine’s aura was interesting. And unwelcome. Not the type you’d normally see. Powerful, yes, but eager to connect. It wanted to mix with mine. Or Cash’s, if she could find it. Her energy reached for him and he had no idea. It made me completely irate. I wanted her away from him. Instinctively, I sent my energy out to block hers and she frowned. She knew something was off but, unlike me, she couldn’t read auras. I wondered what her godly power was, who she represented in ancient mythology, if anything at all. Not all Watchers made their presence known to humans in ancient times. Some stayed away from them altogether. Others couldn’t help themselves and became revered and feared deities in history.

  And then there were people like Cash—Orion, the Archangel Michael, whoever he was—who’d done something incredible, and had been immortalized in song and story. My fingers closed around the keyring in my pocket and my thumb stroked the surface. Cash was something special.

  He caught my gaze and my heart skipped a beat. I shouldn’t be so stubborn. Sure, he’d wanted to leave the Game, to leave me, but he said he’d made a mistake. That his purpose was here and he would not change his mind. Ever since he’d declared that, he’d been true to his word. It was me who’d left him. It was me who lied to him.

  “So, I’m free to go?” I asked.

  “Yes, you can go.” Jacine shot Cash a knowing glance and placed a familiar hand on his forearm.

  My eyes couldn’t leave where their touch met and lingered. I shouldn’t care. So why did it hurt to see?

  Cash stepped forward, out of her range. “Let’s go.”

  “Thank you,” I said to Jacine as I left.

  “Don’t thank me, yet.” She gave a Cheshire smile. “You still have to pass.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “WHAT WAS THAT about?” I asked as we left the official’s room and moved down the corridor.

  “What?” Cash replied, straight-faced.

  “The look she gave you.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Don’t try to deflect.”

  “Seriously, Roo, drop it. We’re meeting Jed for lunch. Then we’ve got to get back to training. I’ve worked out a schedule with the Tribunal. Your situation is unorthodox, so, despite Urser’s protests, they’re willing to make certain allowances. I’m allowed to take over training during business hours, then you have to go back to him.” He frowned. “I don’t like you being there with no protection and what was the bomb? Were you serious when you said that?”

  “I asked you about Jacine first.”

  “How can you compare a bomb to a touch?”

  “This isn’t a jealousy thing. It’s a secrets thing. You’re keeping something from me.” And I’m keeping something from you. It was on the tip of my tongue. I desperately wanted to tell him about The Others, but if he was still lying to me…

  “You’re jealous?”

  Heat flamed my cheeks. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Roo. You saw how eager Squid was to get rid of you. Considering all this, I don’t think it’s safe for you to stay there. I want you with me.”

  “I agree. They don’t want me to pass, but we haven’t found out thei
r plan is yet.”

  “Stuff their plan. We’ll find another way.”

  “People might die.” You. You might die!

  Cash took my elbow and guided me to a shadowed adjoining corridor. He stepped into my personal space, crowding me with his big body. So close. Tension vibrated through the air. I wanted to be angry at him, but became consumed with thoughts of his body heat. That impossible awareness of him was intoxicating. I stepped back. There was nowhere to go and my butt hit the wall. I placed my palms on the cool surface; a reprieve from the blistering need building in my bones. Don’t panic. The important thing was to not let my emotions show on my face. But the truth was, I liked it when he looked at me that way, as though there was no one else in the world, as though he barely restrained himself from just taking what he wanted.

  “I don’t want to fight,” he said.

  “We’re not fighting. We’re being cautious.”

  “But you don’t have to be like that with me. It’s me. I got you out of there. I’m on your side. Always.”

  My heart pumped, my breath quickened, yet, I couldn’t get my mouth to work.

  “Roo.” He gave a pained look that snagged on my lips. “You think you have no freedom now? Think about failure. Not only will you have to breed with strangers, but with the restrictive human laws about women, you’ll be kept prisoner. No interaction with humans. Especially not your friends from back home. Do you understand? Short of killing you, there’ll be no relief.”

  “I know,” I fumed, shifting my sexual frustration to anger. I couldn’t let him know the real reason I wanted to stay. His name was on the list. He’d never let me put his life before mine.

  “It’s the truth. I’m your only chance of passing.” He reached out, but hesitated, hand dropping to his side. “You think I’m not strong enough, is that it? Besides the Watchers, I’m the only one who remembers the beginning. I know my body isn’t healing like yours, but I’m strong. I can still throw you down in a physical match. I can beat anyone who tries to hurt you. You need me.”

  Reminding me of his failing health only drove my panic higher. Yes I needed him. With all my soul. But I needed to keep him safe, and I couldn’t do anything about his biological failures, but I could stop Bruce from hurting him. My fingers heated. A hurricane’s worth of emotion. I chewed my lip and looked down, not wanting him to know I couldn’t control myself.

  “Let me in.” Cash dipped his head to meet my gaze. And just like that, the gnawing feeling in my gut drifted away. Cash leaned on the wall beside my head, caging me. “Roo.”

  A change occurred in him as he studied me. Eyes once laced with concern now projected something darker, deeper, more carnal.

  “You will leave me.” I threw up the words to shield his intensity, but that thought destroyed me. An echo of long lost pain rushed to the surface. No matter how hard I tried, it kept coming back to haunt me. Whether it was his health, the list, the Game… something would inevitably pull us apart and, I couldn’t explain why, but that notion ripped open a gaping hole inside my soul. Why did it hurt so much?

  “No.” His knuckles grazed my cheek. “I was.”

  My eyes burned, and I rubbed my aching chest.

  “La Roux. I was, but I’m not now. I made a mistake. Can’t you see my aura? Can’t you see I’m telling the truth?”

  He searched my face for a response because I gave him nothing. The thing was, even if I could find it, his aura might reveal he told the truth, but that meant nothing. Opinions change. Minds change. Tomorrow, he could change.

  My body stiffened against the wall, and my hands clenched at my sides. He surrounded me with his clean, hot scent; his masculine odor that reminded me so much of the rain. He shifted until our noses met and our breaths mingled. It had been so long since I’d been with a man. Years. I was tired of being alone. Everything inside me ached for him. My heartbeat quickened, and I let a captive breath rush out. I couldn’t think straight. Being near him made me feel so much. His heightened senses picked everything up, and he stepped in. I arched against him, body wanting to be closer, wanting to be touched.

  I shut my eyes, but the sight of his bottom lip dragging through his teeth with restrained need, had burned into my retinas. I heard his hand slide down the wall.

  My lashes lifted to see his own widen in response, caught in the act of watching me. Emboldened, his fingers spliced through my hair, holding me, trapping me in his gaze. He pushed the length of his powerful body against mine and then dipped his mouth to brush my lips with his. He moved to my ear, as though he would whisper, but hesitated. Hot breath tickled my skin and turned my bones to jelly. He nudged my neck with his nose and inhaled deeply, trapping me between the wall and his hard body. A sound between a whimper and a moan escaped me.

  Cash drew back to hold me with his wild gaze. He tapped my chest with a finger, right where my heart was. “Plato had a theory that humans started as beings with two of everything. Two hearts, two heads, two sets of arms and the same for the legs. Too powerful for the gods, Zeus ripped them in half to keep them from dominating him. The severed humans were miserable, always searching for the other, never satisfied until they rejoined with their missing half. So, you see… I can’t leave you, Roo.” He moved to my neck again, lips fluttering against my skin, sending shock waves into my body. Then he tensed, pulling my hair, tightening his grip. “I’ve tried to stay away, but I can’t. You’re my other half. I’ve dreamt of you since the beginning. It’s always been you.”

  Still he waited, hesitant and hoping.

  “Cash.” My fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt, desperate to feel the blistering heat of his taut skin, the life beneath.

  Something snapped inside me. I bunched the fabric at his chest and pushed him off me. Then in one swift movement, I changed our positions, so he was against the wall, and I was on the outer, panting, hungry for him.

  His eyes turned fever bright, but he gave no resistance. Just watched. Waited. Our breaths the only sound in the corridor.

  With effort, I pulled his large body off the wall and shoved him back with force. A strangled sound escaped my throat, frustrated, as I shook him again. His shoulders knocked the surface. His short hair fell over his eyes.

  I held him at arm’s length, frowning, at war with myself. I saw him, and I saw a future with pain ... but also moments of pleasure.

  “Come to my place tonight,” he said, cheeks reddening. “A date. I’ll cook you dinner. Just you and me. I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

  I took a step back, surveying his eager eyes, flexing my fists at my side.

  He raked a hand through his hair. “I want nothing between us. No secrets.”

  I rushed in and closed my mouth on his, swallowing his words.

  He groaned, then melted into me, hands splaying against my back, pulling me closer. His tongue plunged into my mouth, plundering, giving me everything he had with desperate intensity. His essence, his emotions, his passion. I believed him. He wanted me. He wouldn’t leave me. Not on purpose. We moved me to the other side of the passageway, my back hit the wall with a thud, and he deepened the kiss. Our teeth knocked in our haste to devour each other.

  “Roo,” he whispered between kisses. “Don’t stop me this time.”

  I smiled against his demanding mouth. He gave a low growl and nipped my lip. Not hard enough to draw blood, but firm enough to tell me how he felt. His feelings were real. No laughing matter.

  I threaded my fingers into his hair and pushed him back to the other side of the hallway. “I know how you feel.” My lips peppered his face, tasting his salty skin.

  “I can’t wait,” he said. “I want you now. Against this wall.” He lifted me and shifted my legs around his waist, then ground his hips into me. He was ready. He’d do it.

  But we weren’t alone. Auras approached.

  “Stop.” I made my legs slide down until my feet hit the floor.

  “No.” He nipped my jaw and then sucked on the spot
beneath my ear lobe.

  I patted his shoulder. “Someone’s coming.”

  “Tonight.” He agreed and stepped away, straightening himself. He scrubbed his face with his hand and his eyes met mine. He grinned, dimple deepening. “Tonight.”

  My knees went weak. That smile. So rarely seen. A gift for me.

  “I’ll find a way to get out,” I promised and returned his smile.

  “You won’t need to. The Tribunal has ruled that Urser can’t contain you within the Ludus with the need to train you. So you can tell your father to fuck off.”

  My spirits lifted.

  “Really?”

  “There’ll be royal things Urser will make you do, I’m sure, but generally, you need to train.”

  “But you said business hours.”

  “Some businesses work late.”

  “You could’ve started with that, you know.” I shot him a sideways glance.

  “But then we wouldn’t have kissed and made up.”

  He pinched my rear as the group of people ambled past our hidden corridor. I squeaked and had to do an awkward recovery wave as the passersby glanced our way.

  “Let’s go get lunch,” I said and palmed my heated face.

  “I’m starving.” From the slow burn he gave me, I didn’t think he spoke about food.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  AFTER WE’D EATEN at the cafeteria with Jed, Cash took me back to the mostly empty arena—a stark contrast to the writhing pit it had been before. Only one other couple was on a blue mat on the far side of the circular center. A tall and lithe boy was made weak by his taller, stronger instructor who appeared to be a Watcher. No tattoos in sight—just a powerful physique and an aura to match. I guessed the other trainees were still at lunch, or had moved away for another part of their tutelage, whether it be theory, strategy or something else.